Often, when a couple is considering hiring a doula, the baby’s dad thinks, “Well, if we have a doula, what will my role (as father) be?” In fact, when meeting with the couple, if the dad doesn’t ask this question himself, I do then to bring it up directly.

It’s a real fear dads have, it’s honest. Well, the answer is simple. The dad’s role is incredibly vital in the birth process, it is, after all, his baby that is being born, not mine, I will not be the one telling how much I love her! I have seen, in births and childbirth preparation classes, some fathers who feel very uncomfortable in the “labour support” or “coach” role. They are sometimes not prepared to see their wife/partner coping her way through the intensities of labour, and feel a bit helpless in knowing how to best support her.

A doula allows dad to support his wife/partner through his pure love, loving her like nobody else involved in her labour can. He is her lover, and it was the power of their love that conceived the baby, and it is that same power that helps birth the baby! During labour, there are times when the woman is most comforted by her guy’s smell, his heat, hands, breath, feel of his stubble, whatever. If dad is allowed to just do that, to love her and hold her and tell her he loves her, that is job enough.

That way, he does not have to be the labour “expert” - knowing which positions are most soothing for back labor, and how often it is necessary to change positions, and have all the hot packs and cold cloths ready, etc. Then his entire focus can be on loving and supporting her, wholly. So, when a couple hires me as their doula, I am supporting both of them: offering continuous emotional guidance and physical support for both the mum and dad. And 100% of my dads, while having had mixed emotions about hiring a doula before the birth, expressed their sincere thanks and happiness that I was around to support them, too.

1. Stay Home
Contractions >60 seconds in duration, 5 minutes apart, strong (can’t walk/talk through them)
Allow labour to start on its own (do not induce).

2. Good Labour Support
Know the people you can count on - who believe in and support you. Consider having a doula (you knew I would say that).

3. Keep Moving – Change Positions
Don’t lie flat on your back. Wiggle your baby out!

4. Relax: Break Fear-Tension-Pain cycle
Listen to & trust your body – it knows how to birth a baby, and your baby knows how to be born. Trust birth.

5. Breathe – to focus and relax

6. Drink Often / Eat to Comfort
Drink: water, ice, popsicles, rasp. tea (that is if you can bear the taste), fruit juice, ginger ale, lucozade etc. Have frequent sips, between each contraction or two.
Eat: Toast w/ jam, yogurt, crackers, cheese, eggs, turkey sandwich, fruit. Remember, you might in labour for few days and will need nutrition!

7. Urinate Hourly
Baby cannot descend properly with a full bladder – this is very important

8. Get in the Water! (bath or shower)

Penny Simkin: “The bath is as good as any narcotic.” ***A great place when labor gets tough and she gets worried she can’t do it!***

9. Massage / Counter Pressure

10. Dads: It is very important for you to care for yourselves during the birth, too. She is going to need your whole support, so it is vital for you to: Eat & drink (pack healthy sandwiches and snacks, drinks, etc. for yourself), do not forget to go to the loo you can’t possibly expect to fully support someone when you have been holding your bladder for many hours!, and be sure to Rest when you need to (it’s ok to let someone else take over for awhile).

The most crucial elements for Keeping Labour Normal are relaxation, good labor support, and not going to the birth center or hospital too early (if you have decided to go there that is).

For more information, feel free to contact me